my fountain of youth joke

going to bring work home for a second

so i've told some of you before that i go through 

phases of phrases

with my patients...

i don't even know where they come from, 

i don't make any conscious effort 

to start a new one per week or anything like that - 

they just happen and then i notice that i'm using the same phrase repeatedly 

throughout the day/week/months

until it phases itself out and a new one starts

you just told me your totally obscure job description:

"oh my gosh how interesting"

you just told me about some silly thing your granddaughter said/did:

"you've got to be kidding me!"

you just told me an inside joke with your family (aka you had to be there): 

"stop"

to the patients with wheelchairs/walkers/canes when i leave the room:

"don't go anywhere"

cue senile chuckles

to the teens/adolescents when i leave the room:

brb (pronounced 'birb')

cuz i'm hip like that

to the lil brats kids who say i look 34 when i ask them how old they think i am:

"get out of my room and don't come back"

just kidding  - that was fake, i don't actually say that

but they think i look 34?! shit.

moving on...

lately i've been making references to the fountain of youth

always on the very elderly patients

and it seems to be a crowd-pleaser.

example:

such an old woman came in and she had short-term memory loss,

we're talking dory from finding nemo

but she had IMMACULATE skin

(little bit of exaggeration but nonetheless, i'd take it at her age)

i asked her what creams she uses (of course i did)

surprise! she couldn't remember - how convenient.

so i said "are you sure you haven't found the fountain of youth 

and you're just not telling me"

she LOL'd. so did i.

fountain of youth?! really? 

and today:

i'm ultrasonic-ing an old man patient up on his front teeth

the water-mist is going everywhere on his face, like it always does

at an appropriate pause, he says

"is this water doing anything to help my face?"

that's a gimme, gotta reference the FOY, how could i not?

so i said

 "actually we pipe this water in from the fountain of youth, 

so when i sit you up you're gonna be like  benjamin button 

and have wrinkle-free baby skin"

i haven't even seen that movie. 

but he loved it, 

made him laugh and forget about the water-mist all over his face.

gotta love that FOY.