i tried.

i tried. i really tried.

i gave it a valiant effort, too.

here comes another beauty endeavor nobody cares about 

(except the ladies and gentleman at into the gloss and maybe hannah mann):

me: this drugstore anti-frizz serum works just as well as my rene furterer spray

me (in my mind): shut up, you know it doesn't. and the smell isn't half as good.

me: the first ingredients are basically the same, kind of

me (in my mind): no they aren't, nowhere close. this stuff stinks.

i had this conversation with myself everynight

when i pumped out the clear drugstore sludge onto my palm

and rubbed it into the ends of my damp hair.

alas, it didn't work. 

i was up late boppin round the internet

and i said to myself

"i can't take this anymore!" (a la squints in the sandlot)

and bought my rene furterer leave in conditioner

it's the best! top knot my hair over night and i get shiny curls in the morning.

because i'm worth it.

as for the génefique...

i've already gone through one bottle of it, it lasted about 7 months;

and it was 7 months of sheer bliss and romance.

but when it ran out i was being all plebeian again, 

"oh maybe olay regenerist will work just as well"

then i had the cutest middle-aged woman patient when i worked west hollywood

and i was like "girrrrrl how's your skin look so good when you're so old!?"

she said "i'm a convert from lancôme, i use olay regenerist, you should try it"

and i was all "okay maybe i will"

and i did. for two months! two! TWO!

me: oh yes, this shimmering opaque serum really makes me feel like a million bucks

me (in my mind): ha! more like twenty bucks...génefique is where it's at. remember the baby bottom soft tone and texture of your skin while you were using it?

me: i'm so glad i listened to that cute lady patient

me (in my mind): forget that lady she musta been cray! her skin wasn't even that great.

long and pointless story short:

i am a product snob.

no one wants sludge in their palms 

when they could elegantly spritz a beautiful citrus blend over their hair.

sure, i'll keep and use the olay ...

in the summer when i go in the ocean five minutes later and it rinses off.

don't know why i doubt myself everytime i use up one of my favorite products.

i'm almost out of my christian dior chapstick.....